| Goodbye Dear Sweet "Chubby" - |
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Heli
 Posted:
Wed Apr 16, 2008 10:24 am |
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Goodbye Dear Sweet "Chubby"
On a cold September morning 16-1/2 years ago, my then 8 year old daughter ran into the house in a panic "Mum, mum there's some baby kittens all alone in the tall grass". Ms Calico, a country cat who'd taken up residence at our house had birthed 5 wee kittens in the night and though she previously had always been a good mother, this day she'd left those kittens.
Three had succumbed to the cold while two little boys remained: cold, very still and no doubt, near death. I scooped them up and put them inside my shirt, close to my skin ( inside my bra if truth be known ) Soon their cold little bodies began to move and instinct informed them that there should be milk somewhere.
I raced into town with two furry newborn critters crawling around inside my shirt, toasty warm but wondering where the milk bar was. And there began my mission and labour of love. French catheter for tube feeding, kitten milk replacer, wee nursing bottles and my commitment to two orphans. The orange and white boy gave it all he had for a few hours and then there was only one, a dark orange tabby who wasn't about to give up.
For days and then weeks, he spent most of his time inside my shirt; going everywhere with me. I was his Mum; I was the scent, the feel and the sound he bonded to and looked to for everything. Oh, he was a handsome one with large, expressive eyes and the sweetest of dispositions.
He did graduate from the warm confines of my bra after a couple of weeks; after all, his size was becoming less convenient to conceal and more than one person did a double take when they 'thought' they saw parts of me move that just aren't supposed to do that.
Weeks melted into months and then years. What a lovely, sweet boy I'd raised. As he grew bigger and bigger, he never wanted to abandon his love of crawling up on me and curling up in the crook my neck. With each passing month, more and more of him spilled over onto my shoulder, my arm, my tummy but by now, this little character I called Chubby was going to figure out the logistics of it, no matter what.
The stories I could tell about my boy, Chubby. The little rascal who stole my heart from the first wiggle of his little cold body against my warm skin on that cold September morning in 1991. Those memories of my boy are overshadowed by a deep sadness today but the image of his sweet face fills my heart, the picture of him sitting proudly inside my fridge, peering back at me "Hey Mum, look at me" ...
In his early months, Chubby loved to jump inside the fridge; why? I can't even hazard a guess but the M.O. was always the same. Jump in, turn
around, sit down and then just peer up at me with those immense mischievious eyes. "Come on Chub, out of there" I'd say. One spring day after being out for a few hours, I came home hungry and thirsty and headed for the fridge and what, or rather "WHO" should I find inside the fridge. Oh My God!! Two hours inside a fridge ... well I guess that fridge wasn't air tight now was it? While I recovered from the thoughts of how lucky I was the fridge had air for him to breathe, the little dickens went about his business as usual. Kids!!! I loved him so, it didn't matter; besides, a slight bit on the chilly side, he was anxious for Mum to sit down and let him snuggle up and warm up.
It seems like such a long time ago.
An hour ago, I gave my boy Chubby his last hug, his last kiss; I breathed in his scent for the last time, touched his now faded orange fur for the last time. Chubby was no longer 'chubby' at 6 pounds. Nine months ago, the worse news a Mum can get was visited upon me when his vet confirmed what I'd feared. Chubby was in chronic renal failure, a terminal disease.
He had been drinking a lot, peeing a lot but otherwise was pretty much himself, except that his appetite had drastically changed. An eager eater had become a picky eater, who often sniffed his favourite foods and walked away. I administered him sub-q fluids every day, gave him his ACE inhibitor drugs to decrease the BP inside his kidneys, coaxed him to eat the disgustingly awful prescription kidney foods (which I embellished and top dressed with smelly, yummy things to trick him into eating it), sometimes syringed food into him since cats will develop hepatic lipidosis if they don't eat .. My boy battled on, not quite the rascal he'd always been but still wanting nothing more than to snuggle up with his Mum to watch tv or waste some time reading the Natalee Board.
Sunday he had a terrible day, I knew this was no doubt the beginning of the end. The rascal in him fought back somehow and by Monday morning he insisted on wobbling around his usual morning route. The bloodwork wasn't good relative to his kieney disease but what I'd suspected was confirmed by the vet: Chubby had a very bad tooth. I brought him home, for one last sleep in his favourite spot on my bed. He ate a little, I helped him get in and out of his litter tray for his bedtime pee, knowing these would have to be our last hours together.
He wobbled around this morning, amazingly brave and determined notwithstanding the state of his failing body. This was to be the last act of love I could give my boy Chubby. I kept repeating that to myself, so why did it feel so agonizingly painful. I daresay many of you know why.
A little orange furbaby came into my life on a cold September morning 16-1/2 years ago and filled my days with joy and companionship; such a sweet and rascally personality. I guess Chubby was a lucky kitty, after all he lived 16-1/2 years longer than any of his littermates. Funny how that brings me so little comfort in this moment. Perhaps later ... maybe later ... tomorrow .. next week ... next month ...
My Chubby is an angel now, where he'll never suffer another moment.
Goodbye, dear sweet Chubby, my heart is broken. I hope there aren't any fridges in Heaven Chub!!!
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Transcription Goddess
Joined: 23 Mar 2006
Posts: 23517
Location: Puffed Up DimWit
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| SavannahStar
Posted:
Wed Apr 16, 2008 10:27 am |
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What a beautiful tribute, Heli.
I am so sorry for your loss.
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**SuperStar**
Joined: 24 Mar 2006
Posts: 21299
Location: Midnight in the Garden of Good and Evil
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| Katie
Posted:
Wed Apr 16, 2008 10:50 am |
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I'm so sorry Heli SS is right what a beautiful tribute to your Chubby
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Joined: 25 Mar 2006
Posts: 5187
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| pax
Posted:
Wed Apr 16, 2008 11:23 am |
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Rest in peace Chubby. All the best to you Heli. 
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Joined: 23 Mar 2006
Posts: 16336
Location: Wish You Were Here
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| chance
Posted:
Wed Apr 16, 2008 11:45 am |
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Heli so sorry for your loss. I thought your tribute was very touching. I feel like I got to know Chub a little myself from it. Thanks for sharing.
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Joined: 24 Mar 2006
Posts: 2785
Location: Deep in the heart of Texas
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| Josie
Posted:
Wed Apr 16, 2008 11:46 am |
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Heli I'm crying with you, I lost my special fur baby last November 3rd.
I know the empty spot in your life right now and all I can tell you is that it will hurt less in time. Eventually the tears of loss will give way to smiles of happy memories.
You gave Chubby a wonderful life and he loved you for it, just as you loved him. Have faith that you'll meet him on the bridge.
((((Heli))))
Josie
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Joined: 16 Dec 2006
Posts: 1181
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| Siddalee
Posted:
Wed Apr 16, 2008 2:56 pm |
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Oh, Heli, I am so sorry for your loss and am crying with you. Chubby sounds like he had a wonderful life with you - treasure those memories.
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Ya-Ya!
Joined: 23 Mar 2006
Posts: 6211
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| Schmerty
Posted:
Wed Apr 16, 2008 3:26 pm |
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Heli ,
I am so sorry Chubby is no longer with you. It sounds like you & he had a wonderful relationship for 16 1/2 years. Thank God for that time. Goodbye dear Chubby,  & God bless you Heli! 
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Skipping along my own path.
Joined: 24 Mar 2006
Posts: 3335
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| tulsad
Posted:
Wed Apr 16, 2008 3:34 pm |
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Heli - I can't seem to get my tears to stop; what a beautiful tribute to your Chubby. The two of you filled each other's lives with love and joy for all those years; thank you for sharing with us.
I'm so sorry that Chubby is gone, Heli; but if there are fridges in heaven, I'm certain they have big open windows through which Chubby can keep a close eye on his beloved Mum, Heli.
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Sparkly Tree
Joined: 19 Aug 2006
Posts: 10139
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| sarge
Posted:
Wed Apr 16, 2008 9:41 pm |
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I'm so sorry, Heli. He sounds like a wonderful cat and you have a long time together.
The loss hurts so bad now and never really goes away but time does make it easier. Some day you will be able think about your memories of him and smile at the good times that you had.
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Joined: 24 Mar 2006
Posts: 5186
Location: georgia
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| Seraph
Posted:
Thu Apr 17, 2008 5:10 am |
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What Is A Cat?
Gentle eyes
that see so much,
paws that have
the quiet touch.
Purrs to signal
"all is well"
and show more love
than words can tell.
Graceful movements
touched with pride,
a calming presence
by our side.
A friendship
that will last and grow,
small wonder
why we love them so.
Heli, thinking of you today, positive energy and kind thoughts for you.
Dumb as they maybe, I love my affies desperately, yesterday my baby 'Tatty' (Tatiana) had a malignant growth removed from her lymph gland,. She is home this morning, much to the relief to us all especially the other dogs and cats who seem to pickup that something is wrong and are being very respectful and subdued. Thank goodness for our latest rescue, MoJo (Marly Joe) a very cheeky kitten with attitude who has kept us all entertained, zipping around the room, playing and stalking shadows and finally curling up at the bottom of Tatty's bed. I do love cats too. Hope you feel better soon.
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Joined: 13 Jun 2006
Posts: 1011
Location: United Kingdom
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| SavannahStar
Posted:
Thu Apr 17, 2008 6:22 am |
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**SuperStar**
Joined: 24 Mar 2006
Posts: 21299
Location: Midnight in the Garden of Good and Evil
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| Siddalee
Posted:
Thu Apr 17, 2008 7:45 am |
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SS, I love your picture of the Rainbow Bridge. Very sweet.
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Ya-Ya!
Joined: 23 Mar 2006
Posts: 6211
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| dithers
Posted:
Sat Apr 19, 2008 4:52 pm |
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Heli,
I'm so sorry to read of your loss. I lost my own little redhead - Peanut - on March 31.
No matter what age they grow to be - young or old - it is never easy to say goodbye. I know how broken your heart feels.
I see SS has posted a picture of the Rainbow Bridge. Since Peanut's death I no longer believe that it's simply a place we talk about to make ourselves feel better.
I think I might have said this in my original post of Peanut's death - but when we knew he was dying we decided to make a run to the Emergency hospital in order to have him euthanized and make his suffering short. (He couldn't breath - the vet said it's like having someone sit on your chest.)
Dad pulled the van out of the garage and when he was coming in the front door to get us he noticed a giant rainbow - smack dab over our house. Only over the house - not from horizon to horizon. And this was at about 7 pm - not exactly the time for rainbows - nor were the weather conditions in general conducive to rainbows.
I knew it was a sign. Within five minutes he was gone.
Your little Chubby is indeed waiting for you at the Rainbow Bridge. If I never fully believed in it before I truly believe that with all my heart and soul today.
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Pretty in Blonde
Joined: 17 Apr 2006
Posts: 3468
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| victims cry
Posted:
Sun May 11, 2008 3:17 am |
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Heli I feel ashamed I missed this thread 
YOu gave him the best give you could Freedom from suffering. It doesn't make it any easier for us who are left behind so i won't give platitudes, just feel secure that he loved your for 16 years and you loved him. In the end you gave him the final gift denied to so many people. To die with dignity.
Big hugs and my heart is with youl
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On Vacation!
Joined: 22 Mar 2006
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